July 2011
6 posts
22 Year Old Me: Married 65 years...how did you manage? What's the secret?
Grandpa: I nailed a lot of prostitutes when I was in the service. Your grandmother never found out.
22 Year Old Me: That's...that's not actually...that's not really a very beautiful story really. Yet it's oddly inspiring.
Grandpa: You're whole generation is a bunch of damn pussies. Get me some more scotch before your mother notices how much I've already had.
Trysten (8 year old): Hahaha, that squirrel in the back is really bad at leap frog!
We’ve really been working on raising independent children. Yesterday I took our 11 year old son to Men’s Warehouse to get fitted for a tux for my sister-in-law’s upcoming wedding. He took his little tux, waited in line to get a fitting room and, when it was his turn, marched right in all without asking for any help from me. I was rather proud of myself and what a great job...
Funny Hairless Monkeys
Trysten (8 year old): Wait, Chicago isn't a state?
Julian (11 year old): duhhh
Trysten: Well excuse me, I haven't learned geometry yet!
Yes, I now realize there’s a big difference between saying
Your parents must be assholes because you’re the shit!
and
Your parents must be assholes because you’re shit!
Thanks Pickup Line Panda.
How many times can you be told “there is something seriously wrong with you” in a day before it crosses into an “unusually high” number?